I might be the wrongest person to talk about this because this Elsie girl likes money mehn…..And has keyed into “My money is my money and Your (His) money is OUR money” hehehehehehe….. I didn’t make that up though, that’s part of #WhatNollyWoodTaughtMe. I have also learnt to work for my money too but the additional or extra income is far well appreciated 😉 But then, I know “Money is the root of all evil” so i don’t love money. 😀
Now considering relationships and money, i.e. how heavy the guy/girl’s pocket is, is something people tend to not want to talk about. The ladies are suffering from fear of being called or tagged a “Gold digger”…… well, please show me the gold and let me dig peacefully….. Then no guy wants to be called a “Gigolo” while some don’t care being called one.
People will argue the importance of money in a relationship, it goes on and on. For me, money is important to living itself. The only difference is the amount of money or level of lifestyle one is content with. Your present earning/status is definitely someone’s dream. It’s all about choices.
Ekaette’s dream man might be that man that has this very little apartment , a job he can feed on and a motorbike while Ada might be wishing for the Range Rover men, massive Lekki crib, money to spend and go for shopping, vacations in Dubai, Paris, etc, then we have the Busayo, Aisha, Nkiru, Idara, Esosa and co wishers in the basket.
Chukwuma might want a kind of lady that would be solely dependent on him for everything, i mean, that might be what being a man in a relationship is to him, Then Ade might want a lady that can hold her own and not bug him for money.
The fact is we are from different home, different upbringings, different mentalities, different personalities, and different approach to life issues. One thing i have learnt is to respect people’s opinions and accept them for who they are. So i ask us this question:
How important is how much he/she earns a determinant in that relationship?
In everybody’s mind, ‘money makes the world go round’. A good relationship also makes you live long because its all on the happiness within. It all boils down to money being the determinant for two people to ‘live that life’, but at the same time it doesn’t matter how much he earns or i do, the most important part is, he takes care of all my needs and i also have my money as ‘another plan’.
Money is good, how much he earns is not the issue here, its how well he can take care of me and vice versa that matters and keeps both party happy. Right from inception, God made us to be happy out of little/irrelevant things. It was not money incentive. I love money, but my own money and some of his does the magic for me.
Ordinarily, the income level of two people in love is not supposed to be a major determinant in their relationship, LOVE is supposed to be. But as applicable to so many situations in Nigeria, we have a major situation in our hands when the income is too low, especially the man’s income.
In African society, it is traditionally expected for a man to take care of everything his wife/family needs, but in early days those needs are limited to basic ones which used to be very moderate. There was no competition as much as we have now and not many people were trying to keep up with the jones’. The media didn’t have as much effect as they have now. Looking at it these days, things have changed a lot and coupled with the economic situation of the third world countries where sadly, Nigeria belongs; the level of income is very important especially when two people are trying/planning to start a family.
A guy trying to start a family in this time and age should be earning enough to provide basic needs for his family and a woman trying to be a wife should earn enough to support the husband when the kids begin to come.
But it is important to know that ‘shoe get size’ as they say in local parlance. A guy should know the kind of girl to start a relationship with, especially if he is trying to find his feet financially. There is nothing as good as such a guy dating a woman who believes in him and ready to go all the way to help him achieve in life. But this should not be a license for the man to be lazy because there is really no ROMANCE without FINANCE.
I’ve always been of the opinion that money can buy love especially if its not done boisterously. Trust me on this.
You know its funny how girls like to go all “Hey, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a gold digger. I don’t love him for his money” whenever they are asked a question like this. Truth is, money does matter. Most women are material even though their levels of materialism may differ. I think every woman wants a man that makes a reasonable amount of money. “Reasonable” also varies too but you get the idea.
Now I have friends who don’t make a lot of money. Some who make nothing at all but their relationships are still waxing strong so this can neutralize my initial judgement. Personally (and to answer the question), it shouldn’t matter to a woman. For a man, well, I tend to prefer women who make their own money, regardless of the amount. I feel women like that have respect for money because they work hard to make it. However, it really shouldn’t matter. Why? Because there are too many things that influence the success of a relationship. Things that are much more important than money. We all know this already but somehow we are completely insouciant. This is bad. Real bad. Nevertheless, please let’s not kid ourselves. A lot of women consider money. Whether sub-consciously or otherwise. Please. Let’s not kid ourselves.
OK,I think I’m the ‘wrongest’ person to ask this question because I don’t think like the average (Nigerian) girl. First of all,I don’t think its right to ask (or even collect) money from a boyfriend. When you get married,that’s a different ball game; you become his responsibility! So,back to the question….I’m not sure if this question is for dating or for marriage so I’ll speak for myself and about dating since I’m not married (my opinions may change after I ‘shed’ my father’s name.lol). Sha, how much he earns is not even slightly important in my relationship simply because, it doesn’t make any difference to me. Just as far as he’s able to recharge HIS phone to call and pay HIS transport, all is well. To be honest,its really nice when le boo buys u something out of the blues or takes you out but since I’m an introvert it doesn’t really matter. Also, I have to be sure that le boo is not bothered by how much I earn (IF I earn more) because insecurity starts to build up. An ex once told me after we broke up that I’m too independent, that men love ‘taking care of their women’. Truth is,I’ve always hated it when guys say,”after all I’ve done for her”…..I’d rather be the one saying it. My friends always insult me for my yeye ideology and recently I’ve started seeing reasons with them. one of them said she can’t date a broke guy because if they break up,she won’t have gained nada….Love is not enough!lol. I work (hard) for my money so I won’t have to bother someone’s pikin with my responsibilities. If le boo is Dangote’s son,all well and good;I will help him manage his money.lols…this doesn’t really pay sha o because if he’s not spending on u,he’s spending on someone else (not his family o!). On a serious note though,every relationship needs a little finance to carry it through(no romance without finance (•͡.̮ ~͡) ). Whether its from the boy or the girl shouldn’t be a problem. I agree that Love is not enough but finance doesn’t count too (at least,not yet) to me 😀
Since we do not live in a world where people marry for the sole
purpose of love again, a mutual understanding is required before the wedding day. Financially, both parties should state out their stand, who brings what to the table and what is expected. That in my opinion, is the ideal and smart thing to do.
But speaking based on stereotype, I’d say its very important He earns a lot, its a big determinant, not so many girls have a good source of income today, good meaning morally upright and honest. If you love yourself, your self esteem and your kids, earn a lot…
In no circumstance should your wife earn better than u do, not being shallow but the majority of girls out there will at some point rub that fact in your face…and that could destroy a relationship. Its called playing on the safe side.
Good-luck to all.
Money is an important factor in every relationship, whether we choose to admit it or not.
The amount of money a guy earns should matter, but shouldn’t be a determinant of/in the relationship.
Personally, I think ambition matters more than his current pay grade.
As long as he has potential to make more, and is striving to make more, I really have no problem with how much he makes.
Some women are shortsighted and make the mistake of leaving a good man, just because he doesn’t make “enough” money at that time.
Money and relationship is like hotdog and ketchup…it is not really required but is essential..trust me I know. You can spice up your relationship with other ingredients(sex/Mayonnaise for d hotdog) but money is really important. Using me as a case study. I don’t have a job,have a bank account that’s usually in red but I do have female friends that love to take me out for a treat or to the cinemas. Most of the time,I turn down the offer..you know why? The male ego which most of us possess..even if the female in the relationship isn’t complaining,it hurts the male. Loss of self-confidence can be harmful in a relationship..and I don’t even want to talk about the female who become bosses cause they are the ones financing the relationship. So forget whatever they might have told you about money not meaning anything in a relationship..It sure means a lot so also sex.
In as much as money isn’t everything in a relationship love, trust and understanding is. It actually fuels romance to an extent! Yeah he mustn’t make 6 figures and all but at least something na! No one enjoys suffering no matter how strong the love is! The society we live in is harsh allah! Every freaking place you turn to demands a substantial amount from u! Financial frustration murders love allah ask anybody, except in a situation where one of the both parties is doing something to carry the other, but at all at all na error I swear!
Hmmmmmmm……1st of all my income doesn’t matter ( I should think) income or no income I will still spoil my bf/hubby wit gifts so that’s out of it……now to the main topic…HOW MUCH HE EARNS…..It is a determinant depending on how you look at it…every guy actually works hard just to provide the basic needs of his babe/wife…yea we know they have their own external family and they love to enjoy their bar but it all ends with the final consumer who is…the woman. Every girl wants to be pampered and taken on trips and happy and wants to show off her gifts from her boo to her friends but when he can’t afford it she will have nothing to show and might b pushed to other sources of “income” to meet her needs…..most girls can provide such for themselves (e.g moi 🙂 ) but just prefer the “boo effect” and yea……income differs also…you can’t compare a bank worker to an oil company worker(arab moni) or to an entrepreneur or to awa new “business men” A.K.A yahoo/wire boys….their earnings differ but all I would say is just b content with what u have, don’t push your spouse away cos of vanity…true love can never be bought with money,money provides your wants but true love will always provide your needs……..as my Emerald will say “if you find a decent girl give her the things indecent girls get indecently just to prove to her that ‘decency has a reward'” kapish!!!
Hmmmnnn!!!! This is a very serious issue. Well!! For me salary, how much he/she earns is very important because he should be capable i.e he/she should be able to provide the basic necessities.. Now it shouldn’t be a determinant in a relationship because status can change at anytime!! So when the salary is no longer there, that shouldn’t be the end of the relationship.
Hmmmmmmmmm what a topic to deliberate on but we all know money they say is the root of evil but am saying “NO” to this assertion because money takes u places *eyes rolling*
Personally, I think money has little to do in a relationship if there’s love 😐 but these days, people are making relationship money making one,and its so disheartening because both gender are guilty of this act. Most people has lost good relationship because of this and I keep wondering “what if you don’t meet that dude/babe what would have happened to all the unnecessary bills and extortion? Don’t dish out what you can’t eat,please don’t see me as a saint, I’ve dated “LOW CLASS GUYS & BROKE ASS NIGGAS and I’ve dated. My point here is a relationship should not just be about money it should be all about affection and care and I don’t really think how much he/she earns Is really important because I believe if you’re earning N10 your expenses should not be more than that and it should not be a determinant in any relationship. We can’t all be earning big, so somehow some has to earn more than the other person. The best is having a good relationship,catch fun 😉 enjoy lovely moments together and not mix money with relationship.
Some Interesting Extracts:
“Money makes the world go round”
“No ROMANCE without FINANCE”
“A lot of women consider money. Whether sub-consciously or otherwise. Please. Let’s not kid ourselves.”
“I agree that Love is not enough but finance doesn’t count too”
“Financially, both parties should state out their stand, who brings what to the table and what is expected.”
“As long as he has potential to make more, and is striving to make more, I really have no problem with how much he makes.”
“Money and relationship is like hotdog and ketchup…it is not really required but is essential”
“No one enjoys suffering no matter how strong the love is! The society we live in is harsh, allah!”
“If you find a decent girl give her the things indecent girls get indecently just to prove to her that ‘decency has a reward”
“When the salary is no longer there, that shouldn’t be the end of the relationship.”
“The best is having a good relationship,catch fun 😉 enjoy lovely moments together and not mix money with relationship.”
What do you say?
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