Money and Relationship

loveAndMoneyI might be the wrongest person to talk about this because this Elsie girl likes money mehn…..And has keyed into “My money is my money and Your (His) money is OUR money” hehehehehehe….. I didn’t make that up though, that’s part of #WhatNollyWoodTaughtMe. I have also learnt to work for my money too but the additional or extra income is far well appreciated 😉 But then, I know “Money is the root of all evil” so i don’t love money. 😀

Now considering relationships and money, i.e. how heavy the guy/girl’s pocket is, is something people tend to not want to talk about. The ladies are suffering from fear of being called or tagged a “Gold digger”…… well, please show me the gold and let me dig peacefully….. Then no guy wants to be called a “Gigolo” while some don’t care being called one.

People will argue the importance of money in a relationship, it goes on and on. For me, money is important to living itself. The only difference is the amount of money or level of lifestyle one is content with. Your present earning/status is definitely someone’s dream. It’s all about choices.

Ekaette’s dream man might be that man that has this very little apartment , a job he can feed on and a motorbike while Ada might be wishing for the Range Rover men, massive Lekki crib, money to spend and go for shopping, vacations in Dubai, Paris, etc, then we have the Busayo, Aisha, Nkiru, Idara, Esosa and co wishers in the basket.

Chukwuma might want a kind of lady that would be solely dependent on him for everything, i mean, that might be what being a man in a relationship is to him, Then Ade might want a lady that can hold her own and not bug him for money.

The fact is we are from different home, different upbringings, different mentalities, different personalities, and different approach to life issues. One thing i have learnt is to respect people’s opinions and accept them for who they are. So i ask us this question:

How important is how much he/she earns a determinant in that relationship?

Banke @BankyB02kusoCartoon_13836091366948_

In everybody’s mind, ‘money makes the world go round’. A good relationship also makes you live long because its all on the happiness within. It all boils down to money being the determinant for two people to ‘live that life’, but at the same time it doesn’t matter how much he earns or i do, the most important part is, he takes care of all my needs and i also have my money as ‘another plan’.

Money is good, how much he earns is not the issue here, its how well he can take care of me and vice versa that matters and keeps both party happy. Right from inception, God made us to be happy out of little/irrelevant things. It was not money incentive. I love money, but my own money and some of his does the magic for me.

Christopher @degreatest2Oyeyemi

Ordinarily, the income level of two people in love is not supposed to be a major determinant in their relationship, LOVE is supposed to be. But as applicable to so many situations in Nigeria, we have a major situation in our hands when the income is too low, especially the man’s income.

In African society, it is traditionally expected for a man to take care of everything his wife/family needs, but in early days those needs are limited to basic ones which used to be very moderate. There was no competition as much as we have now and not many people were trying to keep up with the jones’. The media didn’t have as much effect as they have now. Looking at it these days, things have changed a lot and coupled with the economic situation of the third world countries where sadly, Nigeria belongs; the level of income is very important especially when two people are trying/planning to start a family.

A guy trying to start a family in this time and age should be earning enough to provide basic needs for his family and a woman trying to be a wife should earn enough to support the husband when the kids begin to come.

But it is important to know that ‘shoe get size’ as they say in local parlance. A guy should know the kind of girl to start a relationship with, especially if he is trying to find his feet financially. There is nothing as good as such a guy dating a woman who believes in him and ready to go all the way to help him achieve in life. But this should not be a license for the man to be lazy because there is really no ROMANCE without FINANCE.

Juke @iamnotJUKEkusoCartoon_13836096830023_

I’ve always been of the opinion that money can buy love especially if its not done boisterously. Trust me on this.
You know its funny how girls like to go all “Hey, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a gold digger. I don’t love him for his money” whenever they are asked a question like this. Truth is, money does matter. Most women are material even though their levels of materialism may differ. I think every woman wants a man that makes a reasonable amount of money. “Reasonable” also varies too but you get the idea.
Now I have friends who don’t make a lot of money. Some who make nothing at all but their relationships are still waxing strong so this can neutralize my initial judgement. Personally (and to answer the question), it shouldn’t matter to a woman. For a man, well, I tend to prefer women who make their own money, regardless of the amount. I feel women like that have respect for money because they work hard to make it. However, it really shouldn’t matter. Why? Because there are too many things that influence the success of a relationship. Things that are much more important than money. We all know this already but somehow we are completely insouciant. This is bad. Real bad. Nevertheless, please let’s not kid ourselves. A lot of women consider money. Whether sub-consciously or otherwise. Please. Let’s not kid ourselves.

Jennifer @JjShugharJenifer su

OK,I think I’m the ‘wrongest’ person to ask this question because I don’t think like the average (Nigerian) girl. First of all,I don’t think its right to ask (or even collect) money from a boyfriend. When you get married,that’s a different ball game; you become his responsibility! So,back to the question….I’m not sure if this question is for dating or for marriage so I’ll speak for myself and about dating since I’m not married (my opinions may change after I ‘shed’ my father’s name.lol). Sha, how much he earns is not even slightly important in my relationship simply because, it doesn’t make any difference to me. Just as far as he’s able to recharge HIS phone to call and pay HIS transport, all is well. To be honest,its really nice when le boo buys u something out of the blues or takes you out but since I’m an introvert it doesn’t really matter. Also, I have to be sure that le boo is not bothered by how much I earn (IF I earn more) because insecurity starts to build up. An ex once told me after we broke up that I’m too independent, that men love ‘taking care of their women’. Truth is,I’ve always hated it when guys say,”after all I’ve done for her”…..I’d rather be the one saying it. My friends always insult me for my yeye ideology and recently I’ve started seeing reasons with them. one of them said she can’t date a broke guy because if they break up,she won’t have gained nada….Love is not enough!lol. I work (hard) for my money so I won’t have to bother someone’s pikin with my responsibilities. If le boo is Dangote’s son,all well and good;I will help him manage his money.lols…this doesn’t really pay sha o because if he’s not spending on u,he’s spending on someone else (not his family o!). On a serious note though,every relationship needs a little finance to carry it through(no romance without finance (•͡.̮ ~͡) ). Whether its from the boy or the girl shouldn’t be a problem. I agree that Love is not enough but finance doesn’t count too (at least,not yet) to me 😀

Delly @am_dellyrde

Since we do not live in a world where people marry for the sole
purpose of love again, a mutual understanding is required before the wedding day. Financially, both parties should state out their stand, who brings what to the table and what is expected. That in my opinion, is the ideal and smart thing to do.
But speaking based on stereotype, I’d say its very important He earns a lot, its a big determinant, not so many girls have a good source of income today, good meaning morally upright and honest. If you love yourself, your self esteem and your kids, earn a lot…
In no circumstance should your wife earn better than u do, not being shallow but the majority of girls out there will at some point rub that fact in your face…and that could destroy a relationship. Its called playing on the safe side.
  Good-luck to all.

Jessica @JessykarhkusoCartoon_13836107004283_

Money is an important factor in every relationship, whether we choose to admit it or not.
The amount of money a guy earns should matter, but shouldn’t be a determinant of/in the relationship.
Personally, I think ambition matters more than his current pay grade.
As long as he has potential to make more, and is striving to make more, I really have no problem with how much he makes.
Some women are shortsighted and make the mistake of leaving a good man, just because he doesn’t make “enough” money at that time.

Olumide @olumiCFCkusoCartoon_13836110550599_

Money and relationship is like hotdog and ketchup…it is not really required but is essential..trust me I know. You can spice up your relationship with other ingredients(sex/Mayonnaise for d hotdog) but money is really important. Using me as a case study. I don’t have a job,have a bank account that’s usually in red but I do have female friends that love to take me out for a treat or to the cinemas. Most of the time,I turn down the offer..you know why? The male ego which most of us possess..even if the female in the relationship isn’t complaining,it hurts the male. Loss of self-confidence can be harmful in a relationship..and I don’t even want to talk about the female who become bosses cause they are the ones financing the relationship. So forget whatever they might have told you about money not meaning anything in a relationship..It sure means a lot so also sex.

Uju @MzJuBerryuju

In as much as money isn’t everything in a relationship love, trust and understanding is. It actually fuels romance to an extent! Yeah he mustn’t make 6 figures and all but at least something na! No one enjoys suffering no matter how strong the love is! The society we live in is harsh allah! Every freaking place you turn to demands a substantial amount from u! Financial frustration murders love allah ask anybody, except in a situation where one of the both parties is doing something to carry the other, but at all at all na error I swear!

Dayo @dhoney2by2(_) DhOnEy_3tt

Hmmmmmmm……1st of all my income doesn’t matter ( I should think) income or no income I will still spoil my bf/hubby wit gifts so that’s out of it……now to the main topic…HOW MUCH HE EARNS…..It is a determinant depending on how you look at it…every guy actually works hard just to provide the basic needs of his babe/wife…yea we know they have their own external family and they love to enjoy their bar but it all ends with the final consumer who is…the woman. Every girl wants to be pampered and taken on trips and happy and wants to show off her gifts from her boo to her friends but when he can’t afford it she will have nothing to show and might b pushed to other sources of “income” to meet her needs…..most girls can provide such for themselves (e.g moi 🙂 ) but just prefer the “boo effect” and yea……income differs also…you can’t compare a bank worker to an oil company worker(arab moni) or to an entrepreneur or to awa new “business men” A.K.A yahoo/wire boys….their earnings differ but all I would say is just b content with what u have, don’t push your spouse away cos of vanity…true love can never be bought with money,money provides your wants but true love will always provide your needs……..as my Emerald will say “if you find a decent girl give her the things indecent girls get indecently just to prove to her that ‘decency has a reward'” kapish!!!

Rejoice @rejoiceasukwolioRejoice

Hmmmnnn!!!! This is a very serious issue. Well!! For me salary, how much he/she earns is very important because he should be capable i.e he/she should be able to provide the basic necessities.. Now it shouldn’t be a determinant in a relationship because status can change at anytime!! So when the salary is no longer there, that shouldn’t be the end of the relationship.

Demilade @demmiegalIMG_00000250

Hmmmmmmmmm what a topic to deliberate on but we all know money they say is the root of evil but am saying “NO” to this assertion because money takes u places *eyes rolling*
Personally, I think money has little to do in a relationship if there’s love 😐 but these days, people are making relationship money making one,and its so disheartening because both gender are guilty of this act. Most people has lost good relationship because of this and I keep wondering “what if you don’t meet that dude/babe what would have happened to all the unnecessary bills and extortion? Don’t dish out what you can’t eat,please don’t see me as a saint, I’ve dated “LOW CLASS GUYS & BROKE ASS NIGGAS and I’ve dated. My point here is a relationship should not just be about money it should be all about affection and care and I don’t really think how much he/she earns Is really important because I believe if you’re earning N10 your expenses should not be more than that and it should not be a determinant in any relationship. We can’t all be earning big, so somehow some has to earn more than the other person. The best is having a good relationship,catch fun 😉 enjoy lovely moments together and not mix money with relationship.

Some Interesting Extracts:
“Money makes the world go round”
“No ROMANCE without FINANCE”
“A lot of women consider money. Whether sub-consciously or otherwise. Please. Let’s not kid ourselves.”
“I agree that Love is not enough but finance doesn’t count too”
“Financially, both parties should state out their stand, who brings what to the table and what is expected.”
“As long as he has potential to make more, and is striving to make more, I really have no problem with how much he makes.”
“Money and relationship is like hotdog and ketchup…it is not really required but is essential”
“No one enjoys suffering no matter how strong the love is! The society we live in is harsh, allah!”
“If you find a decent girl give her the things indecent girls get indecently just to prove to her that ‘decency has a reward”
“When the salary is no longer there, that shouldn’t be the end of the relationship.”
“The best is having a good relationship,catch fun 😉 enjoy lovely moments together and not mix money with relationship.”

What do you say?

———————–
Got something you feel like sharing?? Send your articles to
Elsieisy@gmail.com .. Anonymous or not..you decide, just make sure you are passing a message(POSITIVE).

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22 thoughts on “Money and Relationship

  1. The fact is dat 99 per cent of dem gurls love/like money either directly or indirectly….. Money is needed in virtually all relationship but Ladies of d so called “New World” has made money above all tinz. You have money dey call u sweetheart, u are down dey say u are pool. Nothing anybody on earth can do about dat any more. They all need moneyu

  2. Well, money propels a relationship so well. It is very neccessary a man earns more than the lady cos the mentality of this generation is nothing to write home about. Hardly will you find a lady that is not materialistic and most of them ladies do not see beyond their noses. All they want is Olorunsogo n Ajegunle instead of surulere…Well done crazy mama 😉

  3. Hmmmmm! Well money is important in every relationship but u souldnt make it d foundation or point of ur relationship cos if u do it will only last for a lil tyme. Wat matta most is d love u built wiv d relationship but wen building d relationship build it wisely wiv ur eyez wide open n brain fully on. As for me love is d feelings first, money second n den graduates Love X_X

  4. This is awesome, i love this topic. God bless you Elsie for me, Well the gospel truth is that money makes all things work faster without complaining. Absolutely in a relationship money is involved if you want peace, rest of mind and happiness. But in some other cases money as well is not all it takes to keep relationship going.
    But in a nut Shel money is very good and it now depend on how both couples defined there relationship and levels. The advice i will give is that any level you found self celebrate it and leave it according to your capacity it will help out well once the relationship is based on love, money will just only be added blessing! Celebrate your level. Money is not all at all at all! Jah bless us all

  5. Elsie u are my cousin and u know how far now #wink# what more can I say that u don’t know. Hmmmm……….. Mehn! Money sorts out lots of things in life, relationship e.t.c. I don’t think there is an extent to what it can do. The fact that one wants the good thing of life doesn’t make that person a money lover all that matters is how u go about it so u don’t look stupid. Daz all!

  6. money comes and goes………one thing most babes don’t understand is that nothing stays the same forever,you can’t put a price on love n happiness. many girls have broken up with a guy cos of his financial status and many will still do,then they go to guys who can buy their way into their panties and discard them for some1 else…….now ask urself dis question,who lost out? I think we all know the answer to that……coffs.
    Money SHOULD never be a major deal in any serious relationship,but this is something the 9ja mentality disagrees with. I agree money can spice up and can also kill it. A girl used to say romance without finance is notin but a nuisance, I agree with her………shes 39 n still single . Understanding n Love should be the major basis of a relationship not the guys or babes financial status.
    Here’s a fact for the gold diggers…..No 1 wld ever give u anything you can’t afford on ur own. so stick to some1 who makes u his or her sunshine n not a pay as you go lover!

  7. Also, to the guys that think money isn’t important or spending on your woman isn’t a good way of showing your love to her.. a.k.a. (Araldyte, akagum, superglue) Even God GAVE his only begotten son to show us how much he loves us.. So there’s no LOVE without GIVING!!!!

  8. Wow! Wow!! Wow!!!………every single person needs to read this, u hit d nail on the head and then the head on the nail………Thank u for dis piece,,,,

  9. Personally, money is not important. I am a very independent minded female, and as long as I earn my own salary, I really do not think what a man gives me is important. I mean, if I can buy stuff for myself, I sure aint tripped by it coming from a man, or anyone for that matter. That said, when it comes to a relationship that could lead to marriage, I think its best one is in it with one’s best friend. Money destroys lives, families, homes, when it becomes a factor in a relationship. If you are with your best friend, money would never be an issue as y’all would work to pool resources together to be comfortable with eachother and everything else. I strongly believe everyone should work hard to be able to fend for themselves though…. ( I usually do Me and three other people just in case)…. But really, Money is important, but it aint Shit when you are in a relationship with your best friend….. blah blah blah….. Thats my take.

    Nice post again elsie…. You are now WordPress’s resident Tyra Banks…. lol 😉

  10. have always have problem with these…….money here money there….i so much love a partner who care so much more on you spending money wisely than the once who just want to show off without caring about what happen next when the money is no more…. most of we guys only get to hear the word “baby, sweetheart, my love, mi amor, mi vida, babylove, darling or even most common word that can be use when talking to a friend “Dear”,” only when your partner “GIRLS” need something that have to do with money from we the guys.and when money is finish or they get to find themselves a new money mix road kind of guy then a new problem comes up in the the relationship called lovers apart…the time the girl will tell the guy the sweetest word ever since their relationship “Baby, you are the nicest and the sweetest guy i have even know but you are just to good for me and i dont think i will be able to cope or life if you break up with me, so i think before will take our love to the next leave it will be better we go our Separate Ways but we can still be very good friends”… Breaking News…

  11. Money is Ɠ♡♡D , without money there is ₪☺ sweetness in d relationship. If d guy doxnt hv money, he won’t b calling U, he won’t be surprising U with all dox little little gifts. He won’t even pay Ur bride price, S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, money makes love sweet n it is d joy of every relationshp datt has love. Love can easily die if there is ₪☺ money to maintain it. In as much as U guys wouldn’t want Ur sisters to marry a guy who has ₪☺ money, dnt also go about looking for women who U would deceive into loving U when U cannot even eat three square meals per day.  rest MI case .

  12. Well……money n relationship are like twins..it is basically the ‘IN’ tin. i will simply say that most relationships go down d drain cos of epileptic finances…to the extent dt it will hug n kiss PYTHON…..as for me though *fans sef*..MONEY DEOSNT DICTATE THE DIrECTION OF MY rELATIONSHIP bt LOVE DOES….am ready to suffer wit my BF. Till his PEPPER DON RED n REST..it ll pain me more that afta the Long-suffer-head, he starts searching 4 ‘FRESH FROM FARM’ babes!…*straight faz*…..n ds is common any the male folks………

  13. My partner doesn’t need to be very rich but he shud at least be able to buy credit to call me or have tfare to visit me. And den take me out once in a while. I like to be spoilt but with moderation. So yeah money is important; its just d amount that varies.

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