Dear Ladies, how are we holding up? 🙂 Here’s for Ladies that have lost themselves in waiting for Mr. Right or trying too hard to be perfect for Mr. Right. Remember “No one is Perfect” and ” you look very stupid when you try tooo hard”. 😐
Men could be very confused and indecisive at times and so are the ladies. Although, one thing we should all put into consideration when addressing issues that have to do with what one wants or desire in another individual is the fact that “Real recognise real”. A lady who wants to win the right man’s heart needs to know what it is that makes a man go from just liking your physical (i.e. your body shape, curves, skin colour etc.) and feeling casual about being around or with her to wanting and needing her on a deeper level. I’m going to try and paint a vivid picture of how it is in a man’s mind so you understand what it takes to trigger and breed this kind of connection. And I’m talking about a Real man (one who is mature and grounded on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level) not a man who is all about the container and not the content. In my opinion, here are traits a Real man wants in a woman:
There is something about a confident woman that exudes beauty and attraction to a man. A woman who is confident knows who she is and what she believes, and holds onto that in her interactions with others. She believes in herself, and knows she is valuable standing alone. She’s not defined by her relationship status, her physical appearance or her sex appeal.
She doesn’t buy into the lies that her value is dependent on what she does, but rather, who she is. Because a woman of confidence is aware that her value is rooted in nothing else but who she is in Christ, there is no need to flirt around or flaunt her stuff.
Flirting and flaunting will definitely attract a certain type of man to your side, but you’ll have to keep flirting and keep flaunting your entire life to keep his interest. A real man will be attracted to you because of who you are, not what you have to offer him. And just continuing to be yourself will be all you need to do to keep him there. That’s what healthy relationships are meant to be.
Being honest about your feelings, your insecurities, your wants and your dislikes is crucial to establishing a deep relationship on many levels. It’s impossible for a man to build a lasting, committed relationship with a woman he cannot trust. It also shows that she’d rather lie than work out whatever you’re doing or saying behind his back, and shows a tremendous amount of disrespect, which leads to contempt. A real man wants a woman that recognises the destruction behind undisclosed expectations. She’s straight forward and respectful about setting boundaries and the tempo of her relationships early on.
BEING A TEAM PLAYER
Whether you’re rich or poor, life is a constant struggle. You’ll just have different challenges, but challenges nonetheless. It’s important to be a solid contributing partner in the household, workforce if necessary, and with the family. Most men of quality are willing to shatter old stereotypes when it comes to household chores, especially if his partner is stepping up in other areas to make up for his shortcomings. Not resenting the weaknesses in your man but instead uplifting your responsibilities in the areas he lacks is a VERY desirable trait, and lets us know you have our backs just as we have yours.
BEING STRONG AND INDEPENDENT
Many women mistakenly believe that men are looking for a “weaker” woman who will make them feel like they are smarter and more powerful. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Real men want a woman who inspires them because she has great things going on her own life. They want a woman who has her own purpose other than being in a relationship. A great guy isn’t intimidated by independence and success. What matters to a man is that a woman still has space in her life for a great relationship and is grounded and present when she’s with him. The best way to communicate this to a man is to stay busy in your own life and not suddenly make him your world. Don’t drop your own interests, responsibilities, and friends just to be with him. And then, when you are with him, really BE with him – have fun and give your attention to him and what you’re doing together.
It’s sometimes hard to believe being “real” is attractive to a man. It’s easy for women to look at the billboards and magazines that fill our minds with air brushed beauty and enhanced bodies and think that being “real” makes you less than the others.
But the truth is that real men are attracted to a woman who reveals her natural self. This “realness” manifests itself partially in physical ways. Obviously, looking good is not a bad thing, but there is something about the beauty of a real woman that far exceeds the plastic Barbie version of ourselves so many women strive for and believe in.
Of course, men are not simply looking for a woman who is real with her appearance, but real with who she is. When it comes to attracting a real man, there is no need to pretend. They’re not looking for a woman who pretends to be into sports, cars, sex or anything else she thinks her man wants. They are looking for a woman to be fully herself—personality, quirks, deficits and all. Ladies, these are the things that make you unique and set you apart from every other woman.
Let me clarify: There is a huge difference between a passionate woman and an overly emotional woman. The first is the kind men flock to, the latter is the type they run away from and never look back.
If there is one thing that I hear again and again from men, is that women need to be less emotionally driven. This may be a gender stereotype, but as much as I hate to admit it, they might be on to something. Emotions are such a valuable part of human beings, for men and women alike. But a huge problem arises when women (or men) let their emotions take the lead. It’s important for us to be driven by what we know and balanced by what we feel. Feelings alone should never lead the way.
But now that we’ve discussed what passion isn’t, here’s what it is: Being passionate means living a life that is purposeful, allowing your heart and life to be guided by things that are meaningful and invested in things that are good. It means having goals, believing in dreams and holding on to your values. It means being defined and propelled by justice, mercy, forgiveness, charity and grace. It means striving for healing in your own life and in the world around you.
Living a life of passion is important, because that passion will seep into every part of your life—relationships included.
It’s time to redefine the qualities you as a woman think you need to have to impress a man. It’s time to say no to the draw of sex appeal and begin to believe true admiration from a man to a woman comes only when you begin to respect yourself. Real men are looking for real women who will reflect to them the qualities of a loving God—a God who has made us to be confident, passionate, genuine—and beautiful in every way. Women should strive to reflect Him (God) in all that they do.
SEX AND SEXY BUT NOT SLUTTY.
Not just the actual act of having sex, but everything that comes with it. A lot of women fall in to a comfort zone where they let the freak inside go back inside its closet once a long term relationship is established. Being able to satisfy your man’s sexual desires and have him reciprocate is vital to maintaining long-term happiness (NB. married couples). Don’t be afraid to tell him what to do or where to go and don’t be timid when it comes to his desires either. It helps to get this conversation established early in a relationship. Let him know what you do and don’t want to do in the bedroom, and let him know if/when your list changes. Remember: You both have the right to be happy and fulfilled!
There’s a huge misconception that guys think the perfect woman needs to dress slutty. Guys like sexy women, and there’s a huge difference between showing some skin and wearing a micro miniskirt to dinner with your boss. The perfect woman knows how to pull off being sexy perfectly with style and confidence. She dresses with the right mix of sassiness without giving away the goods. The perfect woman can flirt with her eyes and not just with her body.
I got Mr. Paul A. To write this piece for us women.
Follow him on twitter @Paulpayfresh
He says he’s still looking for his missing rib, maybe you could help him find it 😉
Got something you feel like sharing?? Send your articles to
Elsieisy@gmail.com .. Anonymous or not..you decide, just make sure you are passing a message(POSITIVE).